If I could change the ending ....

She’s standing in the balcony, arm outstretched . She always does that . It makes her feel like she’s holding on to a bit of the rain. Like she could hold on to that instant when the drop falls into her palm and make that instant last forever, by just closing her fist around it. That’s what I think she is doing at least. Her child-like enthusiasm about the smallest , almost insignificant details is almost contagious. It seems like the same things repeated over and over don’t really bore her. As soon as she senses it, a small smile plays on her lips, it seems to reach her eyes and en route bringing a rosy glow to her cheeks .. and in less than a minute , you can see her whole body bounding around with an inexplicable energy.

If happiness were this simple, if I could forget everything in this world for a minute and be filled with the kind of wonder and enthusiasm that she is, I would willingly choose to be blind. I call out to her, “Its time for today’s Braille session.”

Every time I see her this happy, for a second, feelings that most probably mean happiness seem to rise within me followed immediately by rage. She has never said a word. She has never really indicated either, but whenever I see her, all I can think of is how big a failure I have been. I promised her the world, when she stepped into my house as my bride. Today, the very palm that she holds out is calloused with all the hard work she has to do to make ends meet. Today, that very instant that she wants to hold on probably reminds her of the time not too long back when was genuinely happy all the while.Her not complaining about it makes it worse for me, like she is a saint and I am the villain who spoilt her life. “If you are done wasting time in the rain, go get some tea for your husband who works day and night to get some food” . I see the devil within me raise , I cant control him. He throws my failures into my face and I need to appease him. I turn my face away, I cant bear to see that look on her face, where she replaces true happiness with a fake smile for my sake. Why does she bear me? Just because I loved her once. What a price she is paying for that. I cant pity her either, for I know, I am in a more pitiable condition than her. I don’t even deserver the affection she bestows on me , let alone the love.


My sister is the prettiest girl in the world.I can hear her humming to herself. She always does that when she is happy ….. When I grow up, I am going to be just like her. “Didi, wait, even I want to play in the rain, I got the paper , can we make the paper boats now ?”

I don’t really hang around my balcony all day waiting for her to come out to her balcony, but “Thank You God, thank You , thank You , thank You !! Thank You for making it rain . Now just make her look at me. Just once. Please please please ” She looked at me, she just looked at me. She’s smiling at me. Or is it the smile for the rain that carried over. Should I smile back? Should I wave a hi? Should I ignore it ? She turned away ! !! “I am absolute jackass, I should have done something, anything”
“God ,Pllllllllease keep it raining “


I tiptoe upto her(not really required I guess , she dint hear my banging down the door either before I remembered I have my own keys) and say Hi . She responds with a “You are late! You missed the first few minutes !! “ It really is hard to not kick off your shoes, join in on the fun and jump around :D So, if you intend to visit us, just make sure its not raining when you drop by.