Tata 2007

Not much to say other than "I'm glad its over!"

Been thinking what it was that I did this past year that it sort of sticks in my head as a 'not-so-good' year. I cant really pinpoint what it was. I think I was in that state where I was basically unhappy most of the time "cursing my fortunes and choice of things to do" and whenever I was actually happy, I held on to that feeling for as long as I could, like trying to really stretch it. I lived in constant expectancy of some sadness waiting round the corner to pounce on me. I felt the strain of telling myself to be happy and think above all the stuff happening to and around me that I couldn't make myself face/fight/find a solution for.
Away from all the people I know and love, away from the place where I was sure of myself, away from the place where I had someone to depend upon always, being away from the only world I have known the past 23 years I suddenly found myself facing my worst fears. Sleeping alone at night with the lights turned on, having to eat half-burnt food that I had to cook after coming home in snow from a 12 hour workday, having no one in person who I could call a friend, depending on my phone and internet connectivity to put me out of my misery, kicking myself for leaving the comforts of home and family and great friends to seek the world on my own terms, surrounded by people who were really nice to me but who I could never accept, living under the same roof with someone talking to whom would only be a disagreement, waiting all day to run away from the workplace, waiting all evening for night so I could sleep. Each sunrise marking one day less on my calender for the tenure in my 'living' hell.
Wow ! that does sound pretty depressing doesn't it! :))
And on the other hand, I also know that there was a whole lot of upside to this year, and I know I would probably be willing to go all through that again just for the upside!
Its only after you sort of hit rock bottom that you appreciate all that you have. Coming back home did that for me. Its only when I did not have it anymore, when I knew what I had taken for granted wasn't with me anymore that I learnt its value.
I figured out, that I CAN live my life alone and independently but I know that I don't want to.
I figured out that my family is the most important thing for me, above myself too.
I learnt that I don't always have to be strong.
I learnt that there are so many people out there who make my life complete and stand by me at every step.My friends who would patiently hear me out on the phone at midnight, who would give me the strength to get through that minute.I am so glad that we met!
I met some amazing people this year who I always want to be part of my life.
I realized that I have grown up, unknown to myself.

A year of lot of firsts :
I started this blog in Jan 2007, been a whole year now. Though I don't really blog regularly, this sort of opened up a whole new world to me. And the world of blogging gave me a friend I truly cherish.

I visited more than a dozen places in 8 months. From theme parks to monuments to trekking & whitewater rafting & beaches , I have been the perfect tourist and enjoyed every minute of it.It was these trips that gave me my new favourite friends and brought me closer to my old friends.

I got to see snow and catch snowflakes on my tongue.I got to make a snowman.I got to see Spring, I got to see life start fresh and trees bloom with flowers.
I got to go swimming in an ice cold sea and hold a starfish in my palm.
I got to do the Shayana puja to a deity in a temple , I got to do abhishekam to a Shivalingam.
I got to drive at 70 mph on the freeway.
I learnt how to cook (no matter how bad it tastes :-P)
I got to go atop the Empire state building and stand amongst the clouds(literally)
I got to watch a show in Vegas and gamble.
I got to trek the Grand Canyon.
I got to watch a live football match and make fajitas.
I got to attend a dholak(Pakistani style) and a bridal shower(US style).
I got to walk down at a street at 2 in the night without being afraid.
I got play sand-volleyball for my office team.
I got to meet a US marine who told me how it felt to break down doors while he was posted in Iraq.
I got to meet a Korean who told me I reminded her of her daughter and that her father stopped speaking to her because she married a 'gora'.
I got to go to a AR Rehman show and see a whole lot of performers at their best.
I got to travel the subway in New York city. I got to travel in a limo.
I got to discuss religion and philosophy with a cab driver who was from Russia.

I am actually smiling now, maybe 2007 wasn't that bad.

and then, one of my fave parts , I came back home! How I had missed mom's food and not having to take care of the responsibility part, back to my friends.
I attended the weddings of 2 of my closest friends.
I got to touch an elephant and see the sunset by the backwaters with a coconut grove as the back ground.
I actually started driving. On a daily basis at that!
I got to see an Arangetram, live.
I got to see a rugby match, live.
You know what, 2007 really aint that bad after all !

Well, with 2008 , I hope for a fresh start. A fresh go at life. All new, a blank page waiting to be written on. New memories to make. I hope this year, I can handle gracefully all that life throws at me, that I find a reason to smile everyday, that I can actually pass it on to someone else, that I appreciate what I have, that I grow up a little more but not lose the ability to be kiddish, I wish for so much more, I wish for flowers everywhere, I wish all around me there will be only happiness, I wish that all the people around me are always happy, I wish .... Oh if wishes could come true!

For all out there, I wish for you a year, that fulfills your fondest wishes and gives you mostly what you want but occasionally whats right for you too !
Have a happy new year , 2008 .