Morning morning.....

Darn it! Late again. Its a quarter past 8 and my brother is still getting ready for school.When I used to go to school, we had to be at our desk by 8.15 and we never had anyone to drop us.We had to huff and puff our way up that road on a cycle. Its all my fault really, I shouldn't have gotten him used to royal services like this. I made a mental note to myself to get him a cycle soon and ask him to go on his own.He doesn't even realise that I end up 20 mins early at office just for his sake.
"Yo bro, 5 mins more and you wont need to go to school anymore, the watchman will lock the gate"
"Why all the hollering? I am ready aren't I?? Lets go" . Whew ! We wouldn't miss being on time then. I was relieved.
"Hold it" and both of us froze at the tone. It couldn't be anyone else. It was mom. "Where do you think you are going without breakfast. I get up early to make it for you louts and daily the maid ends up with a feast and you go eat bread in those God-awful canteens".
Before she could launch into a full on attack, both of us gobbled half and held on to half the chapathi and ran out the door.
We were late, there was no doubt about it.I could almost wring his neck for it and he's looking at me grinning like we've won something.
"Wipe that silly smile off, I wont drop you back if the gates are closed.Lets see how you like walking back 3 kms."
That wiped that grin off his face, not completely though.

As I weaved through traffic, I noticed all the vehicles passing by.Not too many 2-wheelers, there was a light drizzle and that meant I had to be extra careful about the puddles and that splashing onto us.Not too many white cars either, I realise, probably because they get dirtier faster.
Just one more traffic light and I so hope the day turns out well.Monday mornings always tense me up more.There's the 2 day gap and its the start of a new week. Call me superstitious if you will but I need a good beginning and that nice feel to last all week.
There's the signal.I slow down and look around trying to find THAT one white car that I want to see.Its not there. Panic builds up.I look around and the bike sways and my bro holds on harder to me. I stop the bike to see if he's alright and out the corner of my eye, I see it.
It stops right next to me, just a little ahead.I cant peer in without looking like a roadside cheapo.Its got all dark-tinted windows.The window rolls down and the little kids on the road jump towards it.The chipmunks were actually waiting in the rain for her to give them their first earning of the day.
They must be as superstitious as me.
She's worn her gold bangles today and her nails aren't painted either. Must be wearing a traditional dress. Probably a saree.With a beautiful face like hers, she probably looks divine today. Her hair falling till her shoulders, fresh jasmine in them, a nice bottu, sandalwood paste on the forehead and smiling happily. Sigh.
I get a hard poke in my ribs and find my brother's face almost in mine "Le Hrithik, Ameesha's gone, can we go now?" I give him one knock on the head.Kids these days.Hmph.
With one last look at the disappearing car, I wonder if she really looks as nice in real life as in my dreams?
Some day, I hope I can see her smile. Till then, I'll hold on those bangles.

One Two ka Four

After struggling with driving around in Bangalore traffic in a car for over a year, I recently got back to my original machine, the Honda Dio.
Whenever I was behind the wheels of my Wagon R, I used to reminisce about the good 'ol days of the 2-wheeler when I could feel the wind on my face, (for a looooong time, I always drove the car with the window down to get a feel of the wind coz I just could not make out how fast I was going otherwise!! and no, I wouldn't look at the speedometer at the cost of getting my eyes off the road for even a second.) and back to the original sentence again,
.... I used to reminisce about the good 'ol days of the 2-wheeler when I could feel the wind on my face, being able to zig zag and cut, doing that weird curve on InnerRing road without reducing the speed, going through those small gullies where a car wouldn't dream of even trying, knowing exactly how much space I would need to make a turn, using the left/right mirror and knowing exactly how far/close to me the next bike is, cursing people with fat cars (yes, u read that right- I mean come on, people driving Taveras and Scorpios alone and blocking so much of the road, yeah, I had a warped sense of logic back then ;)), the feel of rain on my face and the look on all the other bike-people (who would have stopped under a tree or some shelter) when I would be the only one driving in the rain at 60-70... now those were the good old days, sigh !
And as luck would have, some one must have heard all my cribbing and gave me a chance to relive those days !
First things first, I drove around extra carefully for fear of having forgotten the art of driving like a college-goer. I realised that my bike wasn't what it used to be, the brakes work when they feel like, my using them isn't incentive enough! And that actually scared me !! The left mirror isn't there anymore (must make a note to ask B what happened ), so when I need to make a left turn, I have to twist my head around and risk losing control!!
Going out now isn't the simple matter of turning the house upside down for the house keys anymore, I now have to gear up, A jacket (to keep the grime and pollution from getting on my clothes, I NEVER said anything about suntan!! ), a headscarf (most helmet users swear by it) and the Helmet(which leaves my hair looking like an elephant sat on my had and flattened it out) .
I feel the wind on my face, I start to hum a song ... And then the troubles start ...
The first thing is, loss of personal space, a car gives you a sense of protection against the road and the people on it, I can roll up the windows and cut out the outer world completely. I have other bikers zipping so close by me almost touching me but cutting out in the last minute and it is at the worst in bumper-to-bumper traffic(and my bike doesn't even have a bumper!! )
The next thing is fear, I know now that even a little jolt will cause immediate bodily harm.The other day, some car dude kept inching forward from a side road onto the main road where traffic was stationary and so was yours truly, there I was minding my own business, waiting for the traffic to move and suddenly my world faces an earthquake, I am thrown half out of the bike - the car guy just decided to move forward to where God alone knows - A nudge of the car and the bike got a jolt. And he just looked away like nothing happened !!
Now, if mine was a car, all I would have to worry about would be repainting, if that.Thankfully it wasn't moving traffic and I didn't fall into any oncoming vehicle's path, but just imagine how vulnerable a two-wheeler actually is.
And the other pain is getting stuck behind an auto which spews out chemicals enough to kill a city and its all directed into your face, no windows to roll up or turn the ac on here. Talking of a/c , when its hot, its HOT, I get to office nowadays reeking of extra perfume just to cover the side effects of sweating !!
And the final straw is ID verification at the office, the same security guys who used to smile and welcome me in now gruffly say "Helmet utharo madam" after looking at my ID and then peer into the id and then my face, nod and only then can I go.
Oh, I am famous among the security guys in my office coz I am one of the few lady drivers and the only one who needed an office cabbie to park the car for her :) As soon as I used to enter the gates, at least one guy used to stay with my car till I parked it right for almost 3 months :)
I guess I miss my car, but I don't miss searching like crazy for parking spots, I don't miss having to go at the speed of the big fat bus covering the whole road in front of me, I miss listening to the music and the comfort of the car ...
I am confused now, I am not sure if I want to drive the car or the Dio ... I guess, I like a bit of both and can go to the garage and decide what I feel like using today and take offfffffffffffffffffffffff ....

Dreams talking sleep walking..

I restarted the application server after deploying a new build for the 11th time today and , believe me, it gets to you , staring at a Unix like screen, black with white formal characters passing by , scrolling leisurely while I wait to gain It’s majesty’s good grace , so it would start gracefully without spewing out errors left, right and center (all in black and white again, which rather adds to my boredom) And while I am doing that waiting, I chose to read some nonsense off the net and sometimes write some and torture the poor souls who trickle into this dusty corner of the web world. Nope, you can’t escape now, you’ve stepped too far into the web for your own good, and now there’s no going back !! uahahhahaha , wicked laughter that is.
Last Friday, I was doing the same when I actually dozed off at my desk. No, my manager did NOT happen to pass by and catch me snoring !! Fine friends you are !!!
I got up way before that, and went out for a walk.
Right outside the office gate stand the RoadKings (auto Rajahs, of course!! ) They all look towards me waiting for me to say where I want to go (so they can say no of course !! ) Dozens of times, I have walked out of office for an auto and they don’t even move a lazy eyebrow in my direction, and when I don’t need one, they literally clamour around and glare when I shake my head and say nope, I intend to use my own feet to walk down the street.
Everytime I reach the gate, another thought hits me, I wonder why my office is situated in such a sleazy area. There’s a bar opposite my office, garbage strewn on most of the pavement, a crowd that, lets say belongs to the Gandhi class of a theatre. And before I can start on the complaints list, I hear a voice saying, if it weren’t here, you would be spending 3-4 hours traveling to Whitefield/Electronic City, so I quit cribbing, hold my head up high and take off.
I walk barely 50 steps (and I must mention, I walk without making eye contact with anyone, I see shapes pass by and that’s it.) and I see a shape walking towards me , on collision path, and I look into the face, some ewww fellow with a sneer on his face, I move out of his path (for which I had to step onto the road ) unfortunately, there was a bus parked there and I tried walking around it and stepped out in time for a 2-wheeler guy zooming who, I dont think would have minded hitting me if I didnt get out of the race track. Back on the pavement, I held on tighter to my bag and tried to look at people to be aware of what was coming.
I was looking at some hay, and something wet by the pavement (could be sewage, am not sure), I tried stepping off again and the only gap where there were no vehicles against the pavement was filled with garbage which had flies all over it.
Nope, I didn't give up. Not yet.
Its like a minefield, I literally had to escape 4 fellows who were about to bump into me by 'mistake', some weirdo who tried to change his pace to suit mine and kept turning around if I fell behind!!!
I finally reach the shop I want, pick up my order and head back. an auto guy did a 'cut' and stopped in front of me to cut me off the road. I came to a standstill. I think my heart lost a fuse.Sitting in that auto was this guy with a kerchief around his neck and a villanous mole on his cheek, he twists out of the auto and gives a leering 'Where to' , I gave him a "Are you out of your mind? Do I look like I am waiting for an auto? I dont want one" and run back to the safety of the dirty human-repellant pavement and he mutters something (not printable I am sure).
I get my two-wheeler out of the office campus and wait at the red signal.Behind me to the left a scooter stops, I realise after an engine died down. I turn around to look and mulitple things happen and I was a silent spectator who could do nothing.The old dude on the bike had his helmet half off, he took aim and spurted out paan right in front of him, precariously close to my left foot. I am so disgusted that I run home straight for a bath, I scrubbed my feet like I would had I walked in a garbage dump. I mean who spits on the road, scores of mindless idiots I know, but who spits in front of himself at a traffice signal onto the center of the road and why did it have to be me next to that jerk !!
At this point, I should have had to get up in front of my system shuddering about a nightmare. But , yeh hai Bangalore meri jaan . Dreams come true. Friday evening, this one sure did.