Home sweet home

We've been looking for a house to shift for some time now, another rental. The search in itself is tedious but humour finds its way in sometimes.
There's a Real Estate agency that calls itself L.J.Hooker and always advertises on the net by the name of Rekha. I have called them multiple times but its always a guy who picks up and redirects me to another guy who is the 'area manager'.
There was this guy who picked up the phone and said "Hello" with an accent that showed that he was more comfortable in the vernacular(yes, my assumption, but it sounded very very south Indian), so I spoke in the vernacular and he turned around with a "Yes, ma'am if you tell me what you are looking for ... ", so I changed tracks and said "We are looking for a house in the X range with Y amount of bedrooms and a car park, it should be a residential area ...... " it took me close to a minute to say all this and he says "Eh, yenu?" and I had to repeat all that in Kannada.
One of my faves was this guy who I spoke to only over the phone, the conversation went thus :
"Hello, I am calling about this house advertised in XYZ .. "
Sorry please, the amount is not correct please.(It showed 5k lesser than what the owner was expecting)
That's ok, is it on the ground floor?
No, please. It is on 3rd floor please.
Does the building have lift?
No, please how can 3rd floor have lift please. No please no please.(and he put the phone down)

I seriously didn't know how to find the info amongst all those pleases!!

There was this guy on a TVS 50 who was showing us a couple of houses that were available. He would keep zooming on the main road on the wrong side and find his route through the shadiest looking gullies and finally come out in front of some wonderful houses, but the journey was scary enough to wonder whether we could make it in on our own! He tried convincing me that there is barely any need to climb stairs to get to the first floor!!

We went searching in the by lanes for a house once and stopped to ask directions and the guy turned out to be a real estate agent who wanted to show us other houses.

Then, there are the shady types :
I call up this guy and say "I am calling about this house, which you have advertised as being close to the X landmark, is it still available"
"Yes, it is"
"Exactly where near X does it come?"
"Exactly near X ma'am"
"Near the bank in the front of X or the restaurant behind X?"
"Near X ma'am"
Now that was getting nowhere, so I ask, "Is the house on the ground floor"
"Yes"
"Does it have a car park"
"Yes. When will you come to see it"
"Is Saturday ok?"
"Ok. What is your budget."
"X"
"For X, you wont get car parking ma'am"
"But you just told me that the house I called up about has car parking and it says that the rent amount is X"
"No, that was for a Y+1 number of bedrooms, you want only Y"
"But you just told me ... "
"Yes"
"So is it available or not"
"You come and see ma'am"
"Don't ask me to come if you don't have anything that suits my requirement"
"Ok Ok"
and the phone gets cut !! (was I fuming then !! )

There are probably many other stories but sigh, I just want to find a pretty little house.