Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue

I stepped outside my home yesterday, as usual fiddling with my mobile, not looking where I was going and .... no , I dint fall, thanks for thinking the nicest thought that comes into your head.... I see this couple passing by, I absent mindedly turn back to my mobile and see that the lady has stopped and turned around and was gesturing to me. She says "Chennagidiya" and I go "hmm, smile ,neenu(darn I should have said neevu)?
she nods and then I realise who she is.
Now, the area I live in, at one point of time, fully belonged to just one man. A landlord / zamindar if you will. He passed away and split it up among 5 sons, all of whom have their houses on the street that I have my house on. The village turned into part of Bangalore, land got sold to all those new settlees and people like yours truly began to call that area theirs.
Now, the family of those 5 brothers still continue to have farms and have cows , so there's a whole lot of village atmosphere yet when you go to their homes. The menfolk sell milk in the morning, the women will help clean up the gobar, they have a dozen or so servants running around.
Now the children of this household grow up in an atmosphere of zamindari whilst having to do proper physical labour without shying away from it and yet go to colleges like Jyoti Nivas or Christ and see the 'other' crowd.
Now when I used to go to college, this lady (go back to the beginning of the story, in case you forgot who the lady is) and me used to occasionally go together. She was the typical homely traditional type, who nurtured hopes or should I call them dreams of graduating and becoming a working woman, independant. She was one of those soft spoken girls who had an ever ready smile no matter what.I lost touch with her and heard a little while later that she had given up studying for marriage. The only thing that came to mind then was fury.Now, here was someone who felt studying would make a difference in her life, someone to whom it mattered that she was educated, someone who had a dream.It was all squashed for a mere marriage. And as a bystander there was nothing else I could do anyways.
She got married and left for some faraway place.
And yesterday, for RamaNavami she had come home to visit her parents and passed by my place. We got to speaking, where are you now ... Are you working? She says , I think wistfully, "I am a proper housewife" and smiles.
Truth be told, she looked so beautiful and at peace with life that it didnt seemt to matter that she wasnt working or that she even remembered what she wanted 8 years ago.
ANd best of all, she still had that smile on :)

Of hillocks,cute village boys and jackfruits

I had gone to this pretty little temple recently. A mere 70 km from Bangalore, somewhere near Tumkur in/on DevarayanaDurga. The drive was scenic in itself and I had no idea that we had road toll near Bangalore, 11Rs to use the road aint that bad. And God bless Reliance for coming up with A1 and saving us the torture of using the roadside dhabas and dont even get me started on the restroom facilities.
Anyways, road tax given, cruising along at 100 kmph (nope windows not rolled down, was way too hot to do that) , it took us a while to realise that the radio was hissing not coz the poor instrument was spoilt but coz we had left Bangalore city limits. We did have mummy giving background music, everytime daddy went right over a hump at 100 :))
Villages, hillocks, lakes, greenery .... thats the way the world was meant to be wasnt it? what is it with metal and glass skyscrapers? Are there no more Howard Roarks left in this world?
We reach the temple right around noon before realising that temples arent open 24/7 , spoilt city people us being. but, to our relief it was open until 1. We had to climb a good 500 stairs , the temple's atop a hill in a cave and there's only so far that a car can take you. There was a nice breeze blowing, helping the puffing panting souls along to the top.
It was a temple as a temple should be. Stone pillars, stone floors, scattered crowd, sweet smell of camphor, incantations of Om in the background, calm breeze, a pretty sight around, a lake behind it and a smiling pujari. What more can one ask for? and of course, the alankaram for the deity (Shri Lakshmi Narasimha Swamy) was beautiful. To complete the pradakshanams , we had to walk around the 'enclosure', turns out we are standing on pure hill-rock and that had been cut away to make place for people to go around. We could see the road winding waywardly (I just liked the sound of that ,so its there... shh) and the green and before there was enough time to sigh we had burning feet to contend with , so we had to run back into the shade.
The prasadam there was by far the best I have ever eaten :D My mouth's actually watering right now at the thought of it.. the generous helping of ghee, the delicious food........ haiiiiiiiii
Darshan done, we drove back down to another temple of the same deity. The contrast has to be seen to be believed. This was almost our typical city temple, though there still was some stone work around and not all covered by the monstrosity called polished granite / marble. A pretty temple in itself no doubt but .... let me just say that the 20th century man had influenced it.
and the next highlight of the day, I drove back the entire stretch. Takes a bow :)

I wish I could find pointers to the lost memory locations in my head

A dozen things that I have been meaning to write about, things that catch my attention and I make a mental note to put it up and then time passes and I get caught up with all the boring details of life and I forget 9 out of 10 things that I should have captured and made immortal.
When you are in the midst of something happening, you tend to feel that the time/emotion is so precious or memorable that there is no way you can forget it. But time passes by and the nuances or those little details are definitely lost. The essence / gist might still linger in the recesses of your mind but you know that it is incomplete.That autograph book from the 10th std just before graduation, old mails that pop out when you are searching for God knows what, photos stowed away or those greeting cards bring back so many lost memories.
Ever wondered how it is that you can hum along when an old song that you havent heard in ages comes up. Its there somewhere in your head but you have forgotten that it exists isnt it?
Is life to be lost like that too?

Ignorance is bliss vs Knowledge is power.

I was having this rather interesting conversation with a friend yesterday in the midst of which I said “Not being aware of the options that you have lets you achieve happiness in your scope of life” and he goes “Yappa, now that’s gonna be in your blog tomorrow” .
Well, here it is :)

We were talking of arranged marriages.

He: Girls nowadays know exactly what they want, its not like they just accept what their parents decide is right.

Me: Obviously, they have just as much right to checking out all the options just like you would.

He: I know, it is pretty cool that they do. They want more than just a job and a family background, they want the personal details too. The girls of this generation have changed, I mean if I were to look for a girl the way my mom would do if she had her way, then I would just have to take sanyas.

Me: :)) That hard is it?

He: Everyone is educated, they know what they want. They tell me that they want to study further, I will have to go find a better job to be able to support them.

Me: :) Well, that’s the other part to it . If girls were married off before they really really figure out what they want from life, they will tend to grow into whatever they have. But if it is someone who has known independence and has learnt to think on her feet and fend for herself , she will probably have a harder time accepting a new person into her life whole-heartedly.

He: But that’s the whole point, she will be independent, she will be her own person, she will have a mind of her own. She will know how the world works and can look after herself.

Me: And because she does that, she wont be able to conform to the traditional Indian custom of being the docile wife who is expected to be one step lesser than her husband in all aspects, she is expected to be in his shadow. People may never publicly accept it and there may be quite a few guys who will treat a wife as an equal but the amount of people who can treat his wife as a superior being is almost nil. Most guys would probably want his wife to look upto him. How many girls who know that they are just as capable as him will want to ‘bow’ or ‘bend’ to his will willingly. If she does, it will be because she has to compromise, coz she doesn’t want any issue.

He: Yeah, that is sort of hard to ask a girl to act like she isn’t an equal, and of course guys would prefer to have the upper hand. And I guess girls would want a guy to look upto too. I mean they too have this culture ingrained in them like us.

Me: True. I guess it’s the way we are brought up.

(I don’t remember the conversation that went here)

Me: If someone were brought up in an atmosphere where she sees day in and day out that men resort to domestic violence at their whim and fancy, if she finds herself with a husband who thinks beating her is a norm, she probably would be able to devise a way to take it and still have a ‘normal’ relationship with him. But just imagine how appalling that idea would be to a girl who has always thought stuff like that was from during black and white movies. She would walk right out on that marriage if she couldn’t find a way to fix it.

He: :))

Me: She has her options open, she knows that this is not normal and that she has a right to expect a decent life. And she may chose to walk out but her marriage will be considered a failure though she is happier. Whereas the other woman would have made her peace and lived on finding happiness in the way she knows best. Having a limited vision lets you achieve the max in that scope. You believe you are happy and satisfied. That’s all that matters. Knowing too much doesn’t give you enough happiness if you don’t get what you consider ‘good’ stuff.

He: Too much knowledge is a bad thing, you should just have enough.

Me: Yeah, and how will we define that :-P

And then it trailed off. Well, this is but one minor aspect of the title but makes sense na.

Its the way words are strung together ..

Life is a train of moods like a string of beads; and as we pass through them they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue, and each shows us only what lies in its own focus.

Disclaimer : I cannot claim that I can write something that beautiful, though I wish I could.
Something that made me smile. And, EOD, thats all that matters :)

The smallest things are the hardest.

Today was one tiring day, I didn't do a single constructive thing. I was in such a sour mood all day, I had almost-strangers coming up to me and asking if I was ok(one wisecrack asked if he should get me a bucket! %^**&^*%^&%*%^&*), my teamie saying that he was feeling dull and that even when he came to hang out with me, I got him duller coz I was so "duh!"
Things happen to everyone, some people you stay away from when you know they are angry/sad. Some people always seem to have the same temperament.I literally cover the whole spectrum.Its a real wonder that people can actually stand me.
I screamed my head off at somebody today, even though it was my mistake.I apologise.I can't take it back, I wish I could. I am not as nice as a person I would want to be.

Jogger's stroll

You do see the darndest things when you are outside home before the sun rises.
Morning morning ....
I got to see all the shops lining the road with shutters down, I had almost forgotten that they were not 24/7 open.
The ladies doing the "sprinkling water in front of their homes thing" , was passing by one house, when I hear "Rangoli yenge chellam" .
Most side-road entrances had children from all possible classes with a uniforms of all the rainbow colors waiting with their mothers for the school transport. Those nursery kids who were holding their mom's hands. Older kids singing and playing those "hand-clapping games" with each other. Then there was this FAPS kid , must be in the 9th at least, and his mom was playfully slapping him.My fave though was the lone ranger dad waiting with his 6 year old son, and before I could actually go "Awwww" , the kid says, "Appa can you tell mummy to come" uahahahhahahaaaahhha
And of course the other "race" waiting for buses has to be the IT gang.
All with crisp freshly ironed outfits and the dog-tags around their necks.The guy walking while drinking tea, the guy who had stuffed water bottles into his laptop bag, the guy who parked his bike and started walking towards the bus stop with helmet in hand and of course the guy who was running for the bus like his life depended on it, he saw a girl look at him and came to a complete stop and started walking full calm , right until the second he passed her and then daud again !! he he he
Then there was that guy , who based purely on looks, doesn't look decent from any angle, he had this "Mom has just gotten me ready for school" look, hair all neat and combed to one side, all fresh and a big "Vibhudi" mark on his forehead, he looked soooooooooo paaavam !!
Mornings are nice. A clutter-free, thought-free mind is the happiest.

Raindrops are falling ...

It literally rained cats and dogs last night ! Got up in the morning to see puddles all over the place. They actually look pretty, even while being murky and all that ..
They have a calm to them, getting ruffled only if the wind blows strong enough and even then it just ripples through it and passes on, leaving it unaffected or of course some jackass on a vehicle does a "pachak" into it :)
A pity it wasn't at least drizzling by the time I was up, raindrops on the puddles would look even prettier. .. I was just thinking I would make some chuttu-puttu paper boats when the wind blew suddenly and I caught the fully laden jasmine tree/plant swaying gently as if in response and then a fresh white flower fell into the puddle.
And the puddle did not look that enticing anymore.
Talk about perspective. uahhhhhhhahahahahhahhhhaaa :))

Dawn

When was the last time that I got up early in the morning. All of last week. I have been waking up way before the sun hits the sky. Just me, my newspaper and my cuppa chai sitting outside and birds singing in the background.
Its like soaking up happiness from the sky, there is an amazing amount of energy that each morning carries.
Light dawns, hope dawns, smiles dawn.

Lazy me

I need to sit up and do something.
I cant believe all the time that I have wasted , whiled away doing absolutely nothing.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I am suddenly lost.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I am tired of being lazy.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I know I will never change.
It isn't because I am bored out of my wits wondering what to do with all the free time that I have on my hands now.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I have wanted to learn the guitar since '98 and never have tried to even start.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I still haven't filed my taxes for last year.
Well, it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that a childhood friend actually told me that for the first time in my life she has seen me on the route to becoming obese.
What it has to do with is the fact that that damn inspiring song from Godavari is going on right now, everytime I hear it , I end up doing something with full josh.
Well, this was the fastest post that I have written so far. Well, me good deed for the day is done. The rabbit does want to rest, it knows the tortoise will take a lot of time to catch up.
Life goes on and always will it seems. Well, I intend to do something before it goes on and leaves me behind.