TATA bye bye

My 5 years in my first company has drawn to an end. And as I look back, I know that it has been one heck of a roller-coaster ride.
I learnt how to actually use a computer - 4 years of engineering and the internet age couldn't make me do it, but work did.
I moved from calling IT and Computer Science engineering graduates as IT guys and included myself in that group of 'techies'.
I was forced to learn computer languages ;0 Harder than that was learning 'People interaction skills'.
Work is never really painful when you look back, but I remember complaining, cribbing that it was so hard and never finished.There were lots of late nights where friends would wait for each other to finish. Then there were the fights - cold war style with so many people who had made life mini-hell for me.Turns out every incident good-bad has actually taught me something, while there are still somethings that I continue to repeat for the heck of it, some are real lessons about what to stay away from.
For the longest time, I hated the open politics or at least the un-acknowledged undercurrent that runs through every team, every office, every group of people. I hated,still do, it when I saw people 'butter' their way through life, though I had lots of people telling me to fit in , I think I took pride in stubbornly staying me. One of my achievements, 5 years in an IT company and I am still BLUNT. Guess thats why only my friends can stand me ;0
I did get a chance to go abroad to the US of A. lots of new things that opened up.
I have made friends for life - that's my favourite part of all the above lot.
It really is funny that at the end of such a long 'journey', it's the smallest things that come to mind.
When I was leaving, I remembered the first time I walked into a lobby and how awed I was at the receptionist talking smooth and juggling 10 calls a minute. I remembered being wow-ed by the entire wall in the ladies room being a mirror.My first look of a cubicle that I had heard so many jokes about.My first manager, the first late night stay, the first appraisal, the first friends, the first team outing, the first salary, the pride in buying something on your own, and so many more. And of course, I did get married while I was in this company.
Sigh, no matter how prepared I was for leaving - 1 month notice is a lot of time - putting on the tag one last time, submitting it to the HR , it did tug at my heart when I saw the big name board on the building one last time, I felt so senti when I was taking my vehicle out the parking lot for the very last time, and the worst was when I was passing the gate for the last time as an employee - I knew it was over - no more turning back.

My daddy strongest

I just saw an episode of 'The Wonder Years', the one in which Kevin goes to his dad's office and learns a lot about him - his dreams, the work he does, how he handles stuff, etc. He sees his dad as a man with power, just in the way he punches the numbers on the telephone/ the way he handles people and he feels proud for his dad and thinks that he is the best man ever and one who is too good for this place.
And just then a superior walks in and blasts his dad and the whole dreamy world of 'My daddy strongest' is swept away in the blink of an eye.

Aren't we all just like that? For the longest time, I believed[and a part of me still does] that my dad was the best man in the world, that he was the strongest - he could beat anybody up, he could make all my bad dreams go away and I would never be afraid if he was around, that he was the smartest, that he talks so well and can get any work done, he's just so dependable and of course - I do take it for granted that it is so, especially since he is MY dad and he is the best in the whole wide world.
Fathers are mostly made out to be the distant parent, just the providers for the family and bad at communicating their feelings/showing them. But I think I never found my dad not-approachable or was ever really afraid of him.
My aunt loves telling this story about when I was around 6-7 years old and had done something really dumb and totally freaked out my dad.It seems he took a belt in his hand and was walking towards me. It seems everyone in the room was horrified[because my parents never hit their children and never have until now], but me, I was the only one who was completely calm, without a trace of fear, for I was sure that I wasn't going to be beaten. My aunt still recalls it with awe, that I just stood there so casually.
As the years pass by, you do realise he's not the most powerful man on earth, that he too is human just like me. That, I feel, makes it all the more special. The special bond of the father-child, where you feel safe, secure, loved, happy and look forward to being with your dad. I have learnt a lot from him, still am learning and I know, there are so many things that he is good at, that I may never even learn them. He's still my idol on so many levels, it's surprising.
And as I think of it, I realise that I still am that child at some level.
I just read that and it seems like I forgot about my mum in all this, but I know what an angel she is[and that's for another time]. The pillars in my life- my parents, they rock.

Cleaning out my cupboard

I did the darndest thing yesterday.
It started with me rolling up my sleeves(literally) to clean out my old lot of 'gifts/greeting cards'. I had three big bags of them to clear and started sifting through them and as was inevitable got into the flashback mode for many of them.
The oldest I had was from when I was in the 5th std. A friend had given me a 3D card of a sailor and a small boy waving to a ship at sea, move the card and the ship moves. This girl now has her own 2 year old daughter!
There were lots of birthday cards, best of luck for exam cards, festival greetings, a bunch of letters from a penpal, pocket sized telephone directories and birthday remindes.
I found a piece of paper that was torn off from a Hindi text book, the corner part, where I had written down the birthdays of 5 of my 12th std friends in about 1.5 inches of space.
I found a packed which had around 10-15 friendship bands from the 12th std, some from my college, some from my tuitions, and best of all, I still remembered who had given me which one.
There were of course many cards which had "All of us" signed at the bottom and no year, so I wasnt sure which gang this was nor which year I had gotten it on.
Another card that a couple had given to me saying that "This is the first time we are doing anything as a couple". It felt so good to see that.
Then there were a few lines of Shayari written on foolscap sheet by a friend, a budding poet 10 years ago, not sure if he still keeps at it. I wish he does though.
It was a nice walk down memory lane, one that brought back memories I hadnt raked up in years. Its nice to know that I havent forgotten so many of those incidents. But I do wonder how many I have indeed forgotten.
All these were the gifts of my school and then +2, I wonder what happened to all the gifts I got during my graduation and working period. I guess, they turned to be gifts that are in the showcase at home, at school, I guess a card is the most affordable, the older you get , the more you can spend, right.
Yup, coming right to the darndest thing point. I think I mentioned a phone directory stowed away in the midst of those cards, I was going through the name (I actually couldnt recall some of the people's faces even with their names and numbers in front of me).I saw a name , A, a friend from 12th, actually, my friend K's friend. K was a really good friend to me in those two years, we'd spent a lot of time in labs, lunch and after school hours, we'd end up in her house pretty often talking for hours. Probably my closest confidante of that time. We finished 12th, I moved to another college while she continued on in the same one for her graduation and somehow we never met after that. It is pretty surprising, now when I think of it. I lost of a close friend out of sheer negligence of keeping up a friendship.
Like my mom says, life always puts new people in your path, most of the old ones drop off with time and the new ones sort of fill up that gap till the next new one comes along. The few that stay with you are the ones for keeping.It isnt that they changed or like you lesser or any logical reason, things just happen. You live with it.
Sometime after I got onto Orkut, I tried searching for her , lots of times, but for the life of me , I couldnt remember her last name, I still sifted through hundreds of records with the first name and gave up thinking that she probably isnt on that website.
On a whim, I took the phone and dialed A's number, this being a landline, I hoped her parents would be able to tell me her current number and I could get to K through her at least.It really didnt register on my mind, that the number I had was 10 years old, that her parents might not live there anymore, that she could be married/working/studying somewhere continents away, that she may not be in touch with K. I guess I need to do things like that more often, just do it before I can think of all the reasons it will fail.
As luck would have it, she was there, (I am sure her father wondered why I called up on a landline and asked if a Ms A lives there and then introduced myself as a 12th standard classmate to him) but of course she had absolutely no idea who I was.
I tried giving some 'clues' about me, "I was on the college throwball team", "We used to sit in the cycle stand after classes and discuss Mrs. G's latest funny statements", "I used to hang out with K in labs". Absolutely no go, I rattled off a few other names from their group and she at least was convinced that I am not a total nut case and there's probably some authenticity.
But, bless her for this, she told me that K was on Orkut and gave me the mail ID.
I have shot off a friend request and have my fingers crossed that she at least remembers me :)