P2E2RAD

Everyone is waiting with their confirmation letters in their hands. Most of them look worried, I don’t think I do.I wonder if I should be nervous. I finally made it here.18 years of studying every single day and I finally landed a job. While college was a hoot and I will miss my family and friends back in Jaipur like crazy, I am looking forward to this. My working life begins today. I traded my jeans and T-shirt for a nice formal outfit. I think I’ll need to get some more though, I can’t go on rotating the 4 shirts that I got for the interviews. And maybe change my backpack. Everyone else is carrying them too, we still look like college kids. Lots of shopping to do. I think I need my first salary right away J

I checked out the competition as soon as I got into the lobby. It’s almost like having walked into my class on the first day – the usual mix of nerds, backbencher types, some locals and some non-locals. I am not sure how many friends I will make. I wonder who among these guys, I will work with. I also checked out the girls. Delhi certainly has prettier girls than back home. I didn’t want to stare too much and seem shady. A few casual glances show me that there are roughly less than half the number of girls as guys. Competition again J

The HR walked in and started calling out names and people started getting up one by one. Anuj,  ……, Neil, Pankaj, Prachi, … This Prachi was definitely the prettiest of the lot. I had noticed her already, she was sitting silently looking at her file. I wish I get to be in the same batch as her. “Pratap  are you here?” the HR lady’s voice broke the spell. I looked around for the person she was calling out for and then it hit me. “Yes ma’am, I’m here”. I was so busy staring at Prachi that I didn’t realize she had called out my name. :D I walked over , trying to look as stylish as possible and stood next to Prachi. She turned to me and gave me a small smile. Haiiiiiiiii .

As luck would have it, we were in the same batch – Freshers016. And for the first time ever I was really really happy that my parents named me Pratap. That put me right next to Prachi in the list. Which meant we were lab partners. Yahoooooo.

We settled into a routine of classes in the morning and labs in the afternoon, most of it was a refresher of all that we did in college. But I was thankful for it, the 5 months gap caused more memory loss of Coding concepts than I had realized. I got used to living in a PG, using trains to commute, talking to my parents every other day. I think I could also get used to being around Prachi. It’s been only a week since we started talking. I got to know a little bit about her. She’s a Punjabi but settled in Varanasi and now in Delhi for work. She finished her degree in Varanasi, so Delhi is new for her too. Her brother is in the US working for a big MNC. She doesn’t seem to like coding too much and I don’t mind helping her out. She’s from an Electronics background and is learning all this for the first time. I think she is catching up fast.

All the girls have lunch together. So, in a day, the only time I am not really with her is during lunch. I think I am picking up a new habit here. Taking tea/coffee breaks other than lunch, once at 11 in the morning and again at 4 in the evening. I do love my tea in the mornings but there’s no one to make it here. So, office tea at 11 will have to do. The other guys seem to be pretty nice. There are few guys from Rajasthan as well, but most of them are from Delhi itself. I envy them. They get nice home cooked meals for lunch whereas I have to suffer canteen food. All through college, I refused to take a box from home, even though mom kept trying to force me. Now, I wish she were here to do it.

At the end of 1 month, I went home. And my mom immediately started off with “You have become sooo thin. Is there no food there? What are you doing there?” I tell her that I miss her too J) She has so many questions for me. “How is Delhi? I hear the people are very rude. That it is very hot. That there is too much traffic. Did you make any friends? Anybody from Jaipur?Did you see Qutub Minar? What all did you see?” I had to answer all of them patiently while she served me my first home made meal in ages. I could have hugged her then and there. But I didn’t, she would have thought I learnt new things in Delhi . Ha ha ha .

Back in Delhi, we started to learn bigger things like process, QE, lifecycles and started working on real projects. The training period was to last 3 months. And most of us became good friends. Then someone suggested a trip to Taj Mahal for the weekend. Everyone agreed and preparations were on in full swing. Transport, Overnight stay at Agra, food and what nots. Luckily enough, we chose a date when there would be a full moon. So, we would get a night viewing of the magnificient Taj.

Akash that people have no sense of time and now we might get caught in traffic. And of course we’ll be late and the sun will be worse. We had booked the non-AC traveler, because we planned to leave early. Prachi got out, with her red coloured pallu over her head. She saw me notice it and pulled it back. I wish she hadn’t, she looked even prettier with the red color adorning her face. I nod a hi and she seems to have something to say. I move away from Akash and say “What’s up? Girls are always late. Putting on make up is it :-P” and said, in a way that only she can, “Well, if the way you looked at me when I got out of the auto is any indication, then I think being late did the trick.” she laughed her infectious Punjabi laughter. I am sure I would have turned red to the roots of my hair if she hadn’t winked. I just had to join her in laughter. And that was that. I knew that this day would be special.

She then told me that it was her birthday the next day and since she might not be able to go to a temple tomorrow, she had gone in the morning. Which she said explains why she was late and the pallu on her head. And I felt like a prize ass for not having found that out. She was my closest friend here and I didn’t know her birthday. I had to do something and I didn’t know what. I didn’t even have a bike. I missed my Yamaha Rx 150.I asked everyone who had one - Manu, Sridhar and even Sweety for her girly pink Scooty. No one had come in their  bikes. Everyone had taken a drop. So, I had to take an auto. And I went in search for a bakery that would be open at 8.15 in the morning. I knew what I would do, I would have her cut the cake at midnight today in front of the Taj under the full moon. By the time I found one and got back, everyone had arrived and I got some real dirty looks from guys who had come after me. Ha ha ha. We started off. The journey was fun. Singing, dancing, dumb charades, the whole works. I think we all were still in college mode.

Evening arrived, we were all ready after having rested in the noon in the hotel. Resting mostly involved all the guys goofing off. Talking about life, work, the future. That’s when I realized, Prachi was my partner now but if she got placed in a different project, everything would change. The thought did something to my insides. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t want her to go anywhere else but be with me. Always. There were only 30 days left in training. 2 months had gone by. I spend so much time with her that I take her for granted. Her laughter, how pretty she is, the way she talks to herself while solving some problem, that way she can make u feel happy by just talking with you. My insides were really squirming badly by now. I always knew I thought she was pretty, I even accepted that I might have had a crush on her. But now, she’s just my buddy, isn’t she? Then why do I feel so bad and torn when I consider the fact that she might be placed elsewhere.

And suddenly, it seemed so simple that I was surprised I hadn’t realized before. I had more feelings for her than just a crush. The weight of that realization should have crushed me, but I felt happier than I had for quite some time. I felt so alive, so light, so wonderful and started smiling to myself.

“Prachi na dude. Kya smile kar raha hai dekh” I looked at Ankur, he was smiling at me and I realized I must be looking like some sort of idiot smiling to myself. “Cake-shake, smiling to yourself… Sab dikhta hai”. I didn’t even have the heart to deny it and they all pounced upon me.”You proposed?” “Does she like you too?” In my newly attained happiness, I had forgotten the minor fact of “What did she feel”. Another sort of panic took hold of me. But still, the feeling of “I am in love” had such a wonderful effect on me, that I didn’t want to worry too much about my feelings being reciprocated.

I had always wondered how poetry was written. How love worked. How you could be affected by another person. And I had just realized all that. I wanted to tell her all that I felt. Suddenly, emotions and feelings that I had no idea existed within me seemed to bubble up. I wanted to talk to her immediately. I could have called her, but I knew I wouldn’t know what to say and would fumble.

So, a few hours later, in time for the viewing of the Taj, here we are outside the hotel. I search for her. The girls are late as usual. She walked down the stairs laughing at someone’s joke. She was wearing a pretty white dress, with silvery patterns on it. She had never looked prettier ever. My heart was beating so fast and I was wishing that she would look at me, that I was there right in front of her. She turned suddenly and looked at me, as if I had called her. She had a look of mild surprise on her face for a split second and it was gone as she flashed her huge smile at me. I managed to sheepishly smile back. I didn’t have the guts to walk upto her. And it definitely didn’t help that Ankur was elbowing me in the back. She walked up to me. And said “So, looks like this make up is better than mornings” giggled and walked away in such an enticing sway that my throat went dry, I couldn’t think of a witty response. I just stood there wordless. How could I have been so blind. She was flirting with me. Did that mean she liked me ? Or was that just the way she is? Oh God, I need to talk to her.

But there was no time. We all got bundled into separate buses, thankfully, I wouldn’t have known what to say if we sat together.

A few minutes before midnight, we all had her cut the cake. She was really surprised and really happy. She seemed so filled with energy. I am glad I got the cake.

After a while, I was walking around with my SLR trying to get some good shots for my photography club. I tend to work alone that way. No distractions, looking for that one unique elusive shot. And suddenly, a hand slipped into mine. It was her. She looked at me, probably partly apprehensive about what I would do. She whispered “Thank you. For the cake.” I smiled. I didn’t know what to do with the hand, should I hold on, what would she think. Should I move away, nope, definitely don’t want to do that. So, I just squeezed her hand a tiny bit and went back to being blank faced.

“I love you”. She had stopped walking with me, she was 2 steps behind me. She had said it. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t trust myself enough to turn around and behave normally. I looked back at her, she was standing there looking shy and a small smile on her face. I walked back to her, took both her hands in mine and said “I love you”. And we kissed. I don’t know if it was the full moon, the Taj, her pretty face, the romantic mood or just the feeling of being in love. Whatever it was, at that moment, I did not think about anything other than how soft her lips were.

We walked back to the group holding hands. We didn’t say anything. Everybody noticed but nobody reacted as if it were something new. I guess the whole world knew about it before we did.

The last month of training went by as if someone had put time on fastforward. There seemed to be more assignments, tests, internal interviews. Alongside work and more importantly, our relationship began to blossom.We savored every waking moment with each other. Love is such a wondrous thing. The world does seem nicer. Everyone looks happier. All sorts of poetry starts to make sense. Tea breaks, lunch, dinner, phone calls when we were apart – didn’t seem enough. I got to know more about her. Of all the things I had discovered, what pleased me most was that she loved bikes almost as much as I did. I should thank her brother for introducing her to bikes. I had my dad send over my Yamaha, we would go for long drives. And she would drive half way. I couldn’t have asked for more.

And finally the dreaded day came. When they would call out the project placements. It was the same HR lady who had first put me next to Prachi.

Delhi – ……….,  Ankur, Rajender, Dhriti, Pratap, Tara., …… .

That was me. I had to stay here. And they didn’t read Prachi’s name for Delhi or Pune or Bangalore. Where would she be put.

Chennai. That’s where she went finally.

My world ended. Chennai. Where was that? Somewhere in South India, I had never ventured South. And they were going to put her there. I looked at her across  the room and she just nodded. We knew there was a chance that something like this would happen. As much as we hoped against it. She got into the group of her Chennai-going mates and  began to discuss something. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t reacting to this at all. I hated all those people standing around. She had forgotten about me, about us? How could she be there looking so unaffected. I was gripped with anguish. I wanted to scream. She was going away from me.

She spoke to me at the first instance we could find to be alone. “It will be ok. It will be tough, but we can take flights occasionally. Phones are always there.” She kept talking and kept pleading with me, but I was not appeased. It took me a few hours before I realized she was right and there was nothing that I could do. She took it more calmly than I did. But it did affect her as much as it did me. I found some solace in that fact.It was Friday and we would have to report to our respective projects on Monday. She made arrangements to leave on Sunday morning. That gave us just 1 day to be with each other. I accompanied her for shopping, helped her pack, we went around to our favourite haunts – the golgappa wallah, the icecream parlor and finally dinner at the fancy restaurant we always dreamt of going to. This was an occasion as good as any.

I dropped her at the airport the next. I didn’t want to let go. I could see the tears filling her eyes. I held her in my arms and told her I would be there with her soon. It was a gut wrenching moment for me to see her turn away, push the trolley and walk away behind the security check point. I sat at the airport lobby for some time.

It was Sunday morning. What was I going to do? I would normally have picked her up and headed for a movie at the mall. But that wasn’t an option any more was it. There was this hole in my life suddenly. And the piece that fit into it was currently being carried away from me in a big metal bird, carried far away to the other end of the country.

Time allows you to accept anything. Life too it seems conspires with time. I fell into a project where slavery was endorsed wholeheartedly. I worked like I had no personal life. Late nights were spent on the phone with my love. 5 hours of sleep and 17 hours of work. This became my life for a year. My mom’s shock at the way I look increased each time she saw me(measurable by how loud her gasp sounds as soon as she sets sight on me. Also, measurable by the amount of time the laments go on for)

My project doesn’t give me enough time to pick up and leave for a vacation, so it has to be her travelling north.We met twice over the year. When she went home, she would choose a flight via Delhi and I could spend some time with her. She hasn’t changed at all. Except for some of the lingo she has picked up. She seems to like Chennai and tells me which movies to watch. Not that Tamil movies play here a lot. And she ordered coffee for the first time ever when we went to get some tea.

While I was wondering how to continue like this, some amazing news came in. Another team was going to be added to my project but they were to work out of Bangalore. They needed someone to help them come onboard fast. My manager asked me. Being unmarried has it’s advantages it seems. I jumped at the chance. I am not sure how far Chennai is from Bangalore but both are in South India and that is good enough for me. Prachi asks me if the project can move to Chennai instead of Bangalore. And before I can fume, she bursts out in laughter, she knows how to infuriate me.

My parents worried that I would be going away so far. I had to convince them that it would not be so bad.  I would still visit them once in 2-3 months. Whether it was Delhi-Jaipur or Bangalore-Jaipur, it would be just one flight.

Bangalore seems nice. They don’t have a Metro here. It’s all autos or buses. Life seems slower here than Delhi. I have my own house on rent here. No more PGs for me. Food here is pretty insipid. Everything has daal in it. I think carrying green chillies with me is the best way to deal with food. Work seems better here since I am in training mode, people seem nice too. But best of all, I get to see her every weekend. As great as phones are, nothing beats looking into her eyes and talking. Holding her hand and walking. Riding the bike while she holds me. And on my birthday this year, she gave me a huge surprise, she booked a 350cc “Yamaha” for me which I had wanted for some time now. Unfortunately it has a 8 month waiting period. So, she’ll be in time for my next birthday.

It’ll soon be 2 years and she can quit the company and find something in Bangalore. I think we like the place. We might settle here.