Life is a train of moods like a string of beads; and as we pass through them they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue, and each shows us only what lies in its own focus.
Disclaimer : I cannot claim that I can write something that beautiful, though I wish I could.
Something that made me smile. And, EOD, thats all that matters :)
Its the way words are strung together ..
The smallest things are the hardest.
Today was one tiring day, I didn't do a single constructive thing. I was in such a sour mood all day, I had almost-strangers coming up to me and asking if I was ok(one wisecrack asked if he should get me a bucket! %^**&^*%^&%*%^&*), my teamie saying that he was feeling dull and that even when he came to hang out with me, I got him duller coz I was so "duh!"
Things happen to everyone, some people you stay away from when you know they are angry/sad. Some people always seem to have the same temperament.I literally cover the whole spectrum.Its a real wonder that people can actually stand me.
I screamed my head off at somebody today, even though it was my mistake.I apologise.I can't take it back, I wish I could. I am not as nice as a person I would want to be.
Jogger's stroll
You do see the darndest things when you are outside home before the sun rises.
Morning morning ....
I got to see all the shops lining the road with shutters down, I had almost forgotten that they were not 24/7 open.
The ladies doing the "sprinkling water in front of their homes thing" , was passing by one house, when I hear "Rangoli yenge chellam" .
Most side-road entrances had children from all possible classes with a uniforms of all the rainbow colors waiting with their mothers for the school transport. Those nursery kids who were holding their mom's hands. Older kids singing and playing those "hand-clapping games" with each other. Then there was this FAPS kid , must be in the 9th at least, and his mom was playfully slapping him.My fave though was the lone ranger dad waiting with his 6 year old son, and before I could actually go "Awwww" , the kid says, "Appa can you tell mummy to come" uahahahhahahaaaahhha
And of course the other "race" waiting for buses has to be the IT gang.
All with crisp freshly ironed outfits and the dog-tags around their necks.The guy walking while drinking tea, the guy who had stuffed water bottles into his laptop bag, the guy who parked his bike and started walking towards the bus stop with helmet in hand and of course the guy who was running for the bus like his life depended on it, he saw a girl look at him and came to a complete stop and started walking full calm , right until the second he passed her and then daud again !! he he he
Then there was that guy , who based purely on looks, doesn't look decent from any angle, he had this "Mom has just gotten me ready for school" look, hair all neat and combed to one side, all fresh and a big "Vibhudi" mark on his forehead, he looked soooooooooo paaavam !!
Mornings are nice. A clutter-free, thought-free mind is the happiest.
Raindrops are falling ...
It literally rained cats and dogs last night ! Got up in the morning to see puddles all over the place. They actually look pretty, even while being murky and all that ..
They have a calm to them, getting ruffled only if the wind blows strong enough and even then it just ripples through it and passes on, leaving it unaffected or of course some jackass on a vehicle does a "pachak" into it :)
A pity it wasn't at least drizzling by the time I was up, raindrops on the puddles would look even prettier. .. I was just thinking I would make some chuttu-puttu paper boats when the wind blew suddenly and I caught the fully laden jasmine tree/plant swaying gently as if in response and then a fresh white flower fell into the puddle.
And the puddle did not look that enticing anymore.
Talk about perspective. uahhhhhhhahahahahhahhhhaaa :))
Dawn
When was the last time that I got up early in the morning. All of last week. I have been waking up way before the sun hits the sky. Just me, my newspaper and my cuppa chai sitting outside and birds singing in the background.
Its like soaking up happiness from the sky, there is an amazing amount of energy that each morning carries.
Light dawns, hope dawns, smiles dawn.
Lazy me
I need to sit up and do something.
I cant believe all the time that I have wasted , whiled away doing absolutely nothing.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I am suddenly lost.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I am tired of being lazy.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I know I will never change.
It isn't because I am bored out of my wits wondering what to do with all the free time that I have on my hands now.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I have wanted to learn the guitar since '98 and never have tried to even start.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I still haven't filed my taxes for last year.
Well, it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that a childhood friend actually told me that for the first time in my life she has seen me on the route to becoming obese.
What it has to do with is the fact that that damn inspiring song from Godavari is going on right now, everytime I hear it , I end up doing something with full josh.
Well, this was the fastest post that I have written so far. Well, me good deed for the day is done. The rabbit does want to rest, it knows the tortoise will take a lot of time to catch up.
Life goes on and always will it seems. Well, I intend to do something before it goes on and leaves me behind.
Sunday
I just burnt my fingers in the kitchen. Hold it right there, before you word the "Whats the big deal about that anyways" .
Let me tell you, I burnt my fingers trying to make tea. Yup. You don't really have to hold back the guffaws now. Oh come on, that doesn't really mean, that you laugh loud enough for me to hear across the seven seas :-P I was trying to add the tea powder to the milk when my fingers brushed the rim of the vessel and I sort of jumped up and in the process emptied half the dabba of tea powder into the milk.
Well, i did not really give up after that, I cleaned up the mess and made it again. I mean granted that I had to throw away half a month's tea supply, but the second time around, I successfully made the chai and my mom actually said it was nice.. lalalallalaaaaa....
Cut to scene2, I take the laptop to the terrace and write the above 2 sentences.I realize that all I can see around me are 2/3 storied buildings, all the time I was growing up here, I could see the vast expanse of green around, now suddenly all I see are grey dreary buildings.
I barely have enough time to let that sink in, when I hear noises and kids on bikes vroom-vrooming, I realize we have new neighbors. Where have I been? It is my house, these are the surroundings that I live in day in and day out.When did I go blind to the obvious, how did I start missing the changes.
Every space has a story, every day brings a change and i don't even notice that. Talk about being lost in your own world.Have you ever been there when your world is so complete in itself that whats on the outside doesn't make an inch of a difference.
what is it with me and tangents!!!
Anyhoo, I was still on the first 2 sentences when one of my oldest and closest friends pops up right in front of me, I haven't met her in like 3 months.I spent the rest of the evening with her, catching up on the gossip, counting the number of people from our class whose wickets have fallen down , the number who are throwing children's birthday parties too(boy was that rough to take!)
I mean, as nice as it is to go down memory lane, it also reminds you of how long ago all that actually happened and how old you really have gotten.I am going to complete a quarter of a century in a couple of days. I know I am old and the condition is growing worse by the day :D . I have no idea how to end this sentence/thought, so I am going to let it be.
and now , me watching Heroes on Star world, there was this scene where the guy is badgering the girl to accept that she is different, the girl gets really senti and tells the guy, "I am a freak, I am tired of hiding it from the world, I accept it now, you can go tell the whole world if you want to that I am 'different'", Guy just takes her in his arms and says "Just shut up" and flies off into the skies while she looks on with that I am amazed thing and he smiles understandingly.That scene was something.
Ah well, it moves on to more gory stuff and now I am off to sleep. Back to the daily grind.
Nothing ever changes, or does it?
It must have been really long ago..
A 'funny'/'different' color all around you, like you were looking with peach-tinted glasses. A stillness to everything.Then, there's a light breeze. There's that feel of anticipation of something to happen, like its going to start raining any moment. There's not a cloud in sight though. But the light's a little low for daytime. A perfect summer evening.
There's something beautiful and pleasing about summer evenings, like having tender coconut water after swallowing loads of sea-water. It always reminds me of the exams that I used to study for while sitting on the terrace / the stairs. The times when I was half torn between playing Holi with the 'gully' kids and studying for an exam the next day. Curse the people who set the exam dates. No points for guessing, I had enough color on me to put a painter's apron to shame ;)
Trying to mug-up what the Nuclei of a cell does while trying very hard to avoid sleep.
Being part of the first showers of summer, which always happened while I'd be walking up and down the terrace with half a kg of a textbook in my hand , supposedly studying, damn, I wonder how I ever passed! People from all the neighboring houses would run up to save their laundry and yours truly would need mom running up and staring at me lolling around in the drizzle for 30 odd seconds before I would come to my senses and first) Safeguard the book by putting it under the water tank :D second) start pulling the clothes off the clothes line by when of course they are all wet or mummy would have finished them all off and be off the stairs in a flash too.
I think I caught 3 of the first showers in summer consecutively and somehow wanted to make it a (whats the word for it, custom/tradition?) that I do it every year, there have been times when I have woken up from sleep in the middle of the night just to hold one of the diamonds from heaven on my palm. As crazy as that sounds. :) Always makes me sigh.
Where did those days go? I never thought I would miss studying, but what I would not give to go back to the 8th std.exams in March/ April were supposed to be the worst months of an academic year, but why are the only days I remember fondly?